Pretty as a Picture Photography and Poetry

evaporatedsoul:

I actually took pictures of myself today??

I love my city.

I’m trying to learn to love myself so here’s a selfie while I wait for my sleeping pills to kick in.

I’m trying to learn to love myself so here’s a selfie while I wait for my sleeping pills to kick in.

I’m a fucking psychopath

Have you ever been so in love with someone that it fucking hurts?
I’m wailing pathetically like a little bitch because I know you’ll never love me back and yet I love you nonstop.

I don’t know what it’s like to live without being in love with you anymore. And I can’t change my feelings because everyone tells me how I’m an idiot for still being hung up on you, but no one understand what it’s like to feel like you’re in mourning every day because you lost the love of your life.

I was enjoying
the view, then I realized that
it was missing you.

I just had to say good bye to my best friend. I’m so proud of her for going into the army, she’s worked so hard and she deserves everything in the world. She is one of the most beautiful people who have ever breathed, I can’t imagine my life without you and now I have to. I miss you so incredibly much and I love you more than I love anyone. Good bye has never hurt so much but I know it’s for the best. I love you, Angie. Please stay safe.

1:21 a.m.

I took double the amount of my antidepressants today.
I couldn’t stop crying or breathe all of my sorrow away.
I couldn’t do it, I wanted to say good bye but I want so badly for you to stay.
Now I’m awake and feeling sorry that I wasn’t there for you, all because I was afraid for you to stray.

Writer’s block

I’m in a poetry and photography rut, follow my personal blog evaporatedsoul.tumblr.com for actual updates?

It’s good to be back home.

It’s good to be back home.

Just a reminder

TFiOS isn’t supposed to be sad because of cancer, it’s about losing the love of your life and learning to accept yourself without them.

A sad soul’s suicide

They found my neighbor’s body on her bed
She lay there, limply
bruising on her neck
You could hear her roommate scream and cry as she tried to shake her awake.
An empty bootle of booze beside her
A leather belt strapped around her throat
Her makeup was smeared with her sorrow
Earlier in the night she told me she was on Prozac but would still drink.
They carried her off to the hospital
Her hand grazing the ground as she was on the gurney.
She woke up the next day, I could hear her sobbing as someone tried to console her in the hallway.
Her attempted suicide influenced me to stay.

Digging into my archives for some photos.

Digging into my archives for some photos.

The shadow on these walls
Has never shaded your skin. 

I wish you were here with me,
So I could watch the light of day
Stretch upon your face. 

Watching the hue melt into
a warm yellow as the sun sets. 

And I would be able to wake up
In the middle of my midnights
And see the blue moon’s light shine upon your effortless perfection.

I can’t look at any hour of the clock
Knowing at one time we were together
At that same time that it is now,
but all I have as company are
the shadows on the wall.

The shadow on these walls
Has never shaded your skin.

I wish you were here with me,
So I could watch the light of day
Stretch upon your face.

Watching the hue melt into
a warm yellow as the sun sets.

And I would be able to wake up
In the middle of my midnights
And see the blue moon’s light shine upon your effortless perfection.

I can’t look at any hour of the clock
Knowing at one time we were together
At that same time that it is now,
but all I have as company are
the shadows on the wall.

Because I’m not

Do you ever see something
And it’s so pretty. You just instantly feel compelled and all you want
to do is take a picture of it?

I wish I had a beauty like that.
Where a person wished they had a camera on them
or that their mind was capable of a photographic memory.